They say that the biggest of our fears is our own death - actually we are blessed that we are not aware of it most of the time. So what is Death? It is the biggest loss we can suffer - when we lose EVERYTHING we have - including our very sense of being. So I believe that the Fear of Loss is colors everything in our life - it accompanies most of our thinking like a shadow. We perpetually feel the fear of loss and we try our best to minimize it - through prayers, insurances, precautions, hedging etc. Loss here means everything tangible and intangible - loss of money, loss of house, loss of people. loss of face, loss of an argument, loss of beauty, loss of an opportunity, loss of health ... However, loss is inevitable. It is a consequence of the most fundamental phenomenon in nature - Change. Perpetual Change. Impermanence. We see it all around us but still wish we can hold on to things, people, feelings and situations that we like.
How can we conquer the fear of loss? The answer is simple - we can only lose something if we think we have it. If we realize that actually we "have" or "possess" nothing (having is an egoic illusion), then we cannot lose anything and hence there is nothing to fear.
Alternatively, if we can "accept" whatever happens then if we lose something, it is no big deal and hence we stop fearing it. We suffer from a loss only because we cannot accept it - we believe it should not have happened. We fight it. If we do not fight it, and just accept the loss, there is no suffering and hence there is nothing to fear. I know, that to accept a loss is not easy. In fact, it is very difficult. But it is possible.
It is all a part of The Reality.
How can we conquer the fear of loss? The answer is simple - we can only lose something if we think we have it. If we realize that actually we "have" or "possess" nothing (having is an egoic illusion), then we cannot lose anything and hence there is nothing to fear.
Alternatively, if we can "accept" whatever happens then if we lose something, it is no big deal and hence we stop fearing it. We suffer from a loss only because we cannot accept it - we believe it should not have happened. We fight it. If we do not fight it, and just accept the loss, there is no suffering and hence there is nothing to fear. I know, that to accept a loss is not easy. In fact, it is very difficult. But it is possible.
It is all a part of The Reality.
I am glad that you have started writing a Blog---you have so much to share! On the subject of fear of loss, I would add just one more way by which people cope with it. And that is by having failth in an entity called "God" who is supposed to protect you from such losses if you do good deed and say your prayers.
ReplyDeleteAshok - I agree. Belief and surrender in God is possibly the most common and accepted way of dealing with uncertainities and fears in life. If the surrender in God means that you accept any outcome that "God delivers to you" then I think, it is similar to the acceptance I am talking about - and leads to living in the NOW. However, the desire to manipulate the outcome via prayers and good deeds also creates a trap of expectations of how the future should be.
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