You may be familiar with life situations which keep bothering and torturing you and pull you down with feelings of hopelessness and helplessness. You have no clue of how to deal with them and find no way out. You long for peace but cannot find any way to get it. You feel that you have no strength left to deal with it and you can do nothing to stop it.
Real peace can only come from within you through a genuine "acceptance" of the reality in the situation. Reality is what has already happened and is already an irreversible fact. You have to separate that reality from what your mind thinks the (mind created fiction) consequences of that fact can be. And accept only that core Reality.
Everyone has the ability to see the Reality from the fiction. And have the unique “strength” that is needed for acceptance. It is a very different kind of strength – not the one that requires will-power to “fight” the situation, but to surrender to it. It emerges from somewhere within you. And with that acceptance, emerges peace and the solutions to deal with the “unacceptable” situation.
So the question in your mind is what should you do to start the process of “accepting the unacceptable?” The answer is amazing: Nothing! You need to do nothing but stop fighting it. Stop yourself from saying NO to the situation. Instead, say that it IS like that, and it is OK. By doing that, you will take the power away from the torturing dark thoughts. And then, the the most important …. do something that automatically brings you in the present moment – the NOW. It could be anything – walk in nature, conversation, movie, museum, watch water, clouds, trees…. Only when are not in the NOW, the dark thoughts start winning and take possession of you. Enjoy the life in the NOW.
Just remember the key to all this – by just becoming aware (seeing) of your willingness to accept the raw situation (reality) exactly the way it is, you are already in the NOW, you have already woken up, and by that you take the power away from the negative forces within you (created by your mind dwelling in the self created fiction of past and future). Do not dwell on the consequences of the raw situation – that is NOT the raw reality (and should not be accepted). Analogy – if you have fever, accept that you have fever, but do NOT accept the thought that you may have the swine flu. You only accept what has happened already (reality) - and not what may, could or would (which is just a thought - not a reality).
All this is not easy, but it is a possible way. Maybe the only one.
It is all a part of The Reality.
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Fear of Loss
They say that the biggest of our fears is our own death - actually we are blessed that we are not aware of it most of the time. So what is Death? It is the biggest loss we can suffer - when we lose EVERYTHING we have - including our very sense of being. So I believe that the Fear of Loss is colors everything in our life - it accompanies most of our thinking like a shadow. We perpetually feel the fear of loss and we try our best to minimize it - through prayers, insurances, precautions, hedging etc. Loss here means everything tangible and intangible - loss of money, loss of house, loss of people. loss of face, loss of an argument, loss of beauty, loss of an opportunity, loss of health ... However, loss is inevitable. It is a consequence of the most fundamental phenomenon in nature - Change. Perpetual Change. Impermanence. We see it all around us but still wish we can hold on to things, people, feelings and situations that we like.
How can we conquer the fear of loss? The answer is simple - we can only lose something if we think we have it. If we realize that actually we "have" or "possess" nothing (having is an egoic illusion), then we cannot lose anything and hence there is nothing to fear.
Alternatively, if we can "accept" whatever happens then if we lose something, it is no big deal and hence we stop fearing it. We suffer from a loss only because we cannot accept it - we believe it should not have happened. We fight it. If we do not fight it, and just accept the loss, there is no suffering and hence there is nothing to fear. I know, that to accept a loss is not easy. In fact, it is very difficult. But it is possible.
It is all a part of The Reality.
How can we conquer the fear of loss? The answer is simple - we can only lose something if we think we have it. If we realize that actually we "have" or "possess" nothing (having is an egoic illusion), then we cannot lose anything and hence there is nothing to fear.
Alternatively, if we can "accept" whatever happens then if we lose something, it is no big deal and hence we stop fearing it. We suffer from a loss only because we cannot accept it - we believe it should not have happened. We fight it. If we do not fight it, and just accept the loss, there is no suffering and hence there is nothing to fear. I know, that to accept a loss is not easy. In fact, it is very difficult. But it is possible.
It is all a part of The Reality.
Meaning of Life and Living
For the last few years I have struggled to find the meaning of life and living. I have found no meaning. In fact, I am convinced that there is none. Or there is none that can be uniquely determined and confirmed. If you ask around you get answers like meaning of life is to discover life, to love, to help others, to enjoy .... none of that is convincing or satisfying. They all sound like just attempts to give a nice sounding answer. Maybe I am not yet ready to comprehend it. The most convincing approach to this is what Buddha apparently said "Search for the meaning of life is meaningless." What I take away from that is that the pursuit of finding a meaning will not reveal the meaning. It is a wrong approach to comprehend it; the meaning will become apparent to me when I am ready. Officially, I have dropped the pursuit.
However, I still have no answer. Actually, it has stopped bothering me most of the time. However, whenever I am feeling low, the sheer meaninglessness of life creates a vacuum in me. Meaninglessness makes me wonder what to look forward to in my life. Often, I think there is nothing to look forward to.
Another approach which I have come to like is just to live in the NOW (present moment) and not to think about past, future or the meaning of life. By focusing on enjoying the present moment, in what ever shape and form it comes in, I stop caring about the future and with that, also about the meaning of life. This works great as long as I can stay in the NOW. Unfortunately, the past and future always sneak back and often take full possession of me and with it the meaninglessness reappears. So the meaninglessness of life appears as a thought when I am not in the NOW.
So, maybe the meaning of life is just "living in the NOW" - without pursuit of anything. Otherwise, you are not really living.
It is all a part of The Reality.
However, I still have no answer. Actually, it has stopped bothering me most of the time. However, whenever I am feeling low, the sheer meaninglessness of life creates a vacuum in me. Meaninglessness makes me wonder what to look forward to in my life. Often, I think there is nothing to look forward to.
Another approach which I have come to like is just to live in the NOW (present moment) and not to think about past, future or the meaning of life. By focusing on enjoying the present moment, in what ever shape and form it comes in, I stop caring about the future and with that, also about the meaning of life. This works great as long as I can stay in the NOW. Unfortunately, the past and future always sneak back and often take full possession of me and with it the meaninglessness reappears. So the meaninglessness of life appears as a thought when I am not in the NOW.
So, maybe the meaning of life is just "living in the NOW" - without pursuit of anything. Otherwise, you are not really living.
It is all a part of The Reality.
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